(Megaforce, 1985)
Thrash, Hardcore, blastbeats, comedy and self-sarcasm: that’s what those Stormtroopers Of Death stood for more than a quarter of a century ago. Yes, this highly influential project/outfit emerged from the (then) long-haired head of Scott Ian (ANTHRAX) back in 1985, picturing out what the term ‘crossover’ would be now know for. Also enlisting the services of fellow ANTHRAX drummer Charlie Benante and (then) ex-ANTHRAX bassist Dan Lilker, the lineup was completed with the addition of a psycho lunatic singer called Billy Milano (afterwards famous for the formation of the similarly humorous band of M.O.D.), and history was ready to be written...
Nearly everything in the “Speak English Or Die” album is off the normal patterns: 21 tracks clocking to 27 minutes (the longest one of them being 2:32), seven of them lasting for not even one minute, a set of lyrics destined to make your belly flammable from laughing your ass out, an even more humorous inner photo collage (talkin’ ‘bout the original vinyl release), some off-the-hook monstrous moshin’-dancin’-bangin’-crowdsurfin’ riffing anthology and a general attitude quite different to the self-disciplined serious approach of (then) Heavy/Speed/Thrash bands (OK, D.R.I. excluded).
The Sergeant D centered album is hilariously sick, tastelessly vicious and gauzily honest. We all know what Ian and Benante portrayed in their normal band’s post-“Spreading The Disease” discography while we already mentioned the M.O.D. formation from Milano; Lilker’s ugly CV is also widespread with NUCLEAR ASSAULT destined to be one of his mildest moments, in retrospect. It now seems that this debut album gave birth (or helped the evolution of) to such a perverted (for the then Metal / Thrash standards) taste both musically and in words. “Speak English Or Die” is not an album for antichrists, fascists, anarchists, homosexuals or pure metalheads. It’s a collection of short in-your-face banging tracks full of comedian spite, eager to let you bang your head and have tons of beers or skateboard or party till you puke or do whatever else your mother, girlfriend or neighbor would never want to face.
If I had to pick one song off the whole LP, I’d choose none. Hell, it’s 27 minutes to listen to at once! Again said, the guitar riffs are bulldozingly kickass and it’s needless to say that nothing less than thousands of bands mixing Trash with HC and humor all these years have this album in the Top 5 list of their most kneel-and-pray-to LPs. The rest of S.O.D.’s discography (no loads of paper needed anyway...) is not bad, but this specific release is something you should not expect to live without if a fan of noisy Thrash-meets-HC music. Let aside the fact that if you do not by now own the album... Sergeant D is coming and you’re on his list!
Tracklist
01. March Of The S.O.D.
02. Sargent D And The S.O.D.
03. Kill Yourself
04. Milano Mosh
05. Speak English Or Die
06. United Forces
07. Chromatic Death
08. Pi Alpha Nu
09. Anti-Procrastination Song
10. What’s That Noise
11. Freddy Krueger
12. Milk
13. Pre-Menstrual Princess Blues
14. Pussy Whipped
15. Fist Banging Mania
16. No Turning Back
17. Fuck The Middle East
18. Douche Crew
19. Hey Gordy!
20. Ballad Of Jimi Hendrix
21. Diamonds And Rust (extended version)
Lineup
Billy Milano - Vocals
Scott Ian - Guitars, Backing Vocals
Dan Lilker - Bass, Backing Vocals
Charlie Benante - Drums